Recent Bullet Deflection Gives Underwire Bras a New Upside

Safety feature makes them "almost worth wearing" despite the feeling of being wrapped in chicken wire.

INGERIE departments all over the U.S. are seeing underwire bras fly off the shelves since the story broke of a Michigan woman whose own underwire deflected a bullet shot during a robbery attempt, thus saving her life.

Said lingerie spokeswoman Elle Flanagan, "Despite the wire bra's ability to provide lift to women whose natural elasticity may have loosened over the years, the stiff insets cause enough chafing and discomfort in some women that we were losing market share to our soft-cup competitors. But thanks to a robber's bullet and a woman who cares about her appearance, we suddenly can't make underwires fast enough!"

Ms. Flanagan said that her industry would soon donate underwires to target-practice centers all over the country to "adorn those drab hanging targets with our lovely collection of bullet-deflecting bras" to get the word out that "underwires are an attractive, affordable, and feminine form of bullet proofing. Flak jackets are simply not very fashionable!"

Several popular crime dramas have already contacted underwire manufacturers to custom design bras for their female stars. Marg Helgenberger, a producer of the various CSI dramas, hints that future episodes "just might feature our leading ladies deflecting bullets with their Maidenforms, because everyone has to get undressed sometime, but crime never stops."

"So true, so true," agreed Ms. Flanagan. "And with our wide array of color selections, ladies can prevent personal injury in a different flattering shade for weeks on end without repeating, even if the firearm does!