Hillary Undergoes Emergency Hypnosis to Suppress Eleven Hours with Trey Gowdy

Democratic presidential candidate also strongly encouraged to "skip Halloween" this year in order to ensure best results of therapy.

credit: Sim Dawdler

EPORTERS HAVE confirmed that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton completed three intensive sessions of hypnosis to block memories associated with last week’s eleven-hour marathon testimony, during which she repeatedly had to both stare into the face and hear the voice of Representative Trey Gowdy, Chairman of the House Select Committee on Benghazi.

On the advice of her physician, Mrs. Clinton consented to the therapy because, according to confirmed reports, "hypnosis for restoring mental equilibrium after the trauma of interacting with Trey Gowdy has been the standard of care for years."

However, since Clinton was exposed to Trey Gowdy for nearly half a day, the dose of hypnosis was increased from one session to three. Dr. Samuel Walker, the hypnosis expert who performed all three sessions on Hillary Clinton within seventy-two hours of her exposure, said, "Timeliness is of critical importance in Trey Gowdy cases such as these."

Citing doctor-patient confidentiality, Dr. Walker would not elaborate on the specifics of his sessions with the democratic presidential candidate; however, he did paint a harrowing general portrait of Post-Traumatic Trey Gowdy Stress Disorder (PTTGSD).

"Such horrific memories of the pale, shining, drawling specter of Trey Gowdy must be pushed out of the conscious mind as quickly as possible after an unthinkable eleven straight hours of exposure to the pale, shining, drawling, actual person of Trey Gowdy.

"Just think how the little children in To Kill a Mockingbird imagined Boo Radley," Dr. Walker continued. "Now imagine Boo Radley is heading the Benghazi Committee. Then multiply that by eleven hours. If Mrs. Clinton remains stable after only three sessions of hypnosis, she is nothing short of a marvel."

As an added precaution, Dr. Walker confirmed he "strongly recommended that Secretary Clinton skip Halloween entirely this year," explaining, "why risk a relapse? Ghosts and goblins may pale in comparison to Trey Gowdy, but Mrs. Clinton is too close in time to ghoulish memories that are best left deeply suppressed."