Polanski Asks Judge to Send in a Couple of Girls While He Awaits Ruling

Solitaire can only take one so far.

AILED FILM director Roman Polanski has sent word through his chief attorney that he would "greatly appreciate" some company while the terms of his case are worked out by the Swiss and American governments.

Said Herve Temine on behalf of his famed client, "Mr. Polanski has indicated that he is 'terribly lonely' in his small cell, as he is only able to visit with his family on very limited terms. And, since my client is so harshly consigned to four walls during the majority of each day, he respectfully requests just one or two visits per week inside his cell from others, preferably others who are female and under, say, sixteen. But definitely over thirteen. Let's say fifteen minimum, seventeen max."

Polanski further indicated through his attorney that he would "take full responsibility" for the girls' welfare, "since," said Mr. Temine, "he would be the only adult in the room, as it were."

The attorney went on to say that Mr. Polanski "would also like the court to know that his Swiss chalet is always fully stocked for his guests' maximum comfort, and he therefore would be most pleased to allow the girls to stay there, that is when they're not engaged in visitations with their grateful host.

"The only additional request my client has of the court is that his female guests kindly be permitted to transport from his chalet a variety of champagnes and a few legally obtained quaaludes in an effort to make Mr. Polanski's cell feel just a little bit more welcoming to the young ladies during visitation."

Sources indicate that the Swiss court has taken Mr. Polanski's requests "under advisement," and has ordered high-quality video cameras from Amazon.