Pat Robertson Prays to Limit Convention Hurricane Damage to Pawlenty Speech

Says it's a "win-win for all concerned."

photo credit: dno1967b

ELEVANGELIST Pat Robertson is once again in fervent prayer mode, as Hurricane Isaac has already forced the cancellation of most of Monday's convention proceedings in Tampa and prompted Florida Governor Rick Scott to cancel his speech to the delegates.

Robertson hopes to limit further hurricane disruption by offering up former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty's speech "as a sacrifice to the Lord God Almighty, so that He might spare the rest of our gathering, if it is His will."

Although mystified as to the reason for God's wrath in disrupting the Republican convention, Robertson said he was "hopeful that the Lord might spare the rest of our fellowship if He can smite the speech of our extremely humble servant, Tim Pawlenty."

In this way, Robertson believes, "the hurricane will be a win-win for all concerned. The Lord will have demonstrated His miraculous powers to a grateful television audience, and Republicans can skip directly to their next agenda item without frankly missing a beat."

The televangelist admitted that his offering "is a truly humble one" in light of the biblical story of Abraham, who was ready to offer up his own son Isaac as a sacrifice to God.

"Believe me, the name of our Lord's hurricane is not lost upon me!" said Robertson. "It is true I am no Abraham, and most surely Tim Pawlenty is no Isaac. But a person can try."

Robertson said he had already offered God "a back-up prayer" should He not take Tim Pawlenty's speech in return for the safe-keeping of the rest of the convention.

"I have already communicated with the Lord that He may instead smite the speech of our keynote speaker, Governor Chris Christie," explained Robertson.

"Although it would be better for the Lord to annihilate Mr. Pawlenty's speech with His mighty sword," said the televangelist, "I have to admit that the miracle of Chris Christie being silenced would show how awesome God's power really is."