Passive-Passive Woman Meekly Complains at Area Mall, Gets Nowhere

Last seen giving money to passers-by who didn't ask for any.

ERCHANTS AT the Orange Julius stand in the North Grand Mall in Ames, Iowa said that a woman approached their counter yesterday "complaining in a wimpy manner" about a drink she had just ordered, and proceeded to, as the cashier recounted, "pathetically ask for a replacement drink, because she thought her drink was missing the actual orange juice part of the beverage."

"Her drink was kinda pale," admitted 16-year-old Jenny Harris, veteran Julius mixer. "But, like, I really did not feel like mixing another one for her because we were, you know, so busy and stuff. And plus she was so totally lame about asking for a replacement. I was like, I don't think so, lady."

Passive-passive customer Miriam Speck, hiding behind a mall kiosk, said she had "just hoped they would take a little look at my drink and realize there might have been a mistake. I don't say it's their mistake—it's really more my mistake, you see, that I didn't pay very close attention to how the girl was making my drink. And you can see she's such a lovely girl, too. I'm sure she almost never makes mistakes. Not that she made one today, either."

Gloria Johnson, a more assertive customer who happened to be at the Orange Julius counter at the same time, attempted to come to Ms. Speck's aid.

"I saw that her drink didn't look right, so I basically took it upon myself to request another one for her, since she seemed so uncomfortable about asking. But then she just sort of scooted down the hall and hid behind that kiosk."

When asked to confirm, Ms. Speck replied, "I'll just be on my way then. That is, if you don't mind. Unless you need me to stay. I just meant that I really should be going. But did you need anything? Can I buy you an Orange Julius?"