Hot-Looking People Agree to Stop Saying 'It's What's on the Inside That Counts'

At least for awhile.

Beautiful young couple relaxing on couch
photo credit: Lynda Sanchez

 TEMPORARY respite is in store for ordinary men and women, as hot-looking people have agreed to a moratorium on claiming that who you are on the inside is what really matters.

Said gorgeous twenty-three-year-old model Janelle, "I really want to say you-know-what, but I promise not to for as long as I can stand it!"

"Wow, Janelle, your teeth look even better than ever!" noted Armand, nineteen-year-old model for Abercrombie. "Not that it matters, because it's what's on the—oops, never mind!"

Talk-show hosts such as Ellen DeGeneres admit they'll need to make a few adjustments during the moratorium.

"I'll either not be able to have hot guests at all, or if I do, I'll have to steer clear from talking about how great they look and how that doesn't really matter when you realize it's what's on the inside that—oh, sorry," said DeGeneres. "Boy, this is going to be tough. Can I still say 'Be kind to one another'?"

Several hot stars have already canceled telethon appearances, confirmed one Hollywood talent agent, "since talking about what's on the inside is unavoidable when one of my hot clients is standing next to some unfortunately proportioned flood victim who's lost everything except fifty pounds," she explained.

However, one hot model named Zoe said she spoke "for all my smoking-hot friends" who were angry over the moratorium "when all those dumpy people out there can say it all they want. It's not fair!" she said.

But one of Zoe's hot friends looked at it another way.

"Zoe, maybe this is the first time we get to know what it's like to not be able to have what other people have. Like, we are hot, but now we can't do something, and it's like not being hot and then not doing anything you want because you're not hot," said Zoe's hot friend, Jake.

"OK, maybe," said Zoe, pouting less yet looking just as hot. "But it shouldn't matter, because it's what's on the inside—"


"Oops," said Zoe.