Star "looking forward to getting out there and looking perfect."
photo credit: CLAUDIO MARIOTO
OP SINGING sensation Beyoncé, who has just banned all but hand-picked photographers from taking her picture during live performances, officially announced her upcoming "Unmitigated Vanity of Mrs. Carter" tour.
"I am really looking forward to getting out there and looking perfect," said Ms. Bey. "Or you're fired."
The popular singer, who was less than pleased with pics taken during her Super Bowl halftime gig in February, insists the strict control of her image "is not a form of censorship."
On the contrary, says Her Beyness, who insists the Vanity tour "expresses my deepest respect for photographers and fans. Because it's not just about me. It's about you, wanting to please me, and tease me, andwow, I think I just thought of a new song!"
In answer to critics who point out the Beybilicious singer could act as a role model for female fans by showing it's okay not to be perfect, Bey replied, "did you just say my name and 'not perfect' in the same sentence?"
Beyoncé, who is equally at ease performing for charity or for despots like the late Muammar Gaddafi, is working with her crack security team to "discourage" fans from taking snapshots with their smart devices by "borrowing them until the show is over."
The logistics of returning thousands of smart phones and iPods to their original owners has yet to be ironed out, but Lady Bey sounded quite optimistic.
"I don't do anything halfway," she said. "And don't take a picture of me saying that."
© 4.26.13 Kate Heidel