Sports Illustrated Model Barbie Insists Her Body Is '100 Percent Synthetic'

Iconic doll answers skeptics who doubt she is fully unnatural.

Gold 'N Glamour™ Barbie® Doll
photo credit: Tinker*Tailor loves Lalka, on Flickr

HEAD OF Sport's Illustrated's 50th Anniversary issue featuring the iconic Barbie doll in her signature black-and-white striped bathing suit, the beloved girl toy is already fending off skeptics who doubt her claims that she isn't even the tiniest bit natural.

At a press conference to publicize SI's pictorial, Barbie, wearing an elegant, off-the-shoulder dress and matching slip-on heels, said, "Let me state for the record here and now, I am an all-American, 100 percent synthetic doll." Barbie's blonde nylon tresses shone under the lights as she moved her arms up and down for emphasis.

"If you have any doubts as to how fake I really am, Mattel would be happy to subject me to testing, which would be completely painless, since, being plastic, I can't feel a thing," she said. "Plus, I can't blink," she added.

Asked how her boyfriend Ken felt about her SI appearance, Barbie replied, "Ken put his arms up in the air as high as he could, which in this case means he is very happy for me, just like my best friend Midge and my little sister Skipper are," she explained.

"It may also mean he wants to marry me, but I'm not quite sure about that," added Barbie, who then tried unsuccessfully to tilt her head.

The beloved doll to millions of American girls was asked if she thought she was being a good role model to her little fans by appearing in a magazine that features young women in the skimpiest of bikinis on its covers.

"Role model? Is that like when I was Runway Barbie?? See me model today's most beautiful fashions, and then change into chic satin slacks and a turtleneck for dinner with Ken at a casual bistro," said the SI anniversary girl.

Barbie waved stiffly to reporters and was then packed in her original carrying case, complete with one change of outfit that can go from day to night with just a shiny belt (sold separately).