Bachmann Pledges to Bust Lullaby League and Lollipop Guild If President

Says unions are unions, no matter how cute their members are.

URING TUESDAY's Republican debate in Hanover, New Hampshire, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann attempted to light a fire under her dwindling campaign by announcing that her second act as president, immediately after kicking everyone off health insurance, would be to bust what she called "the dangerously over-protected Lullaby League and Lollipop Guild of Munchkin City in the Land of Oz."

Holding up a blu ray of The Wizard of Oz, Ms. Bachmann said "this, my friends, is nothing more than union propaganda, which mocks our nation's founding principles. I know the members of these two unions are adorable-looking munchkins, but these little people are putting a stranglehold on free enterprise!"

Ms. Bachmann, speaking past her allotted time during closing remarks, went on to describe the Mayor of Munchkin City as a "a union sympathizer" and "a fat cat with a waxed mustache and a funny suit."

In a more conciliatory tone after the Republican debate, the Congresswoman said she was willing to meet with the Munchkin City mayor to discuss building non-union lullaby and lollipop shops "to foster competition in keeping with the American spirit of innovation."

She added that, with non-union competition, "Munchkin City would no longer coddle napping workers waking up just long enough to dance around their customers or snap their suspenders before slacking off again."

A spokes munchkin for the Lullaby League had no comment other than to giggle and hide behind a very large egg.

However, a feisty member of the Lollipop Guild said he'd like to meet the Congresswoman so he could, as he put it "personally not wish to welcome her to Munchkin Land."

For himself, the Mayor of Munchkin City stated that his "fine hamlet" was clearly out of U.S. jurisdiction and thus immune to union busting. He further noted that his legal team had verified that Congresswoman Bachmann was "morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably bonkers."