'Abilify' Even More Effective When Used with New 'OneMority'

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photo credit: Fillmore Photography

ATIENTS WHO have been prescribed Abilify as an add-on to their current antidepressant, but not seen much improvement in symptoms, may be in luck. Doctors are now prescribing a new antidepressant add-on add-on with the trade name OneMority to boost Abilify's ability to boost the original antidepressant.

"We think this additional add-on may be just the trick for our more difficult cases," said one psychiatrist. "Abilify can only add so much potency to the first antidepressant. But now you've got three drugs, one on top of the other. It's just like children's blocks, only these require a prescription and are much, much more expensive."

One of the psychiatrist's patients, identified only as "Jane," reported feeling better since OneMority was added to her Abilify, which was added to her Prozac.

"I feel better now, " said Jane. "Before Prozac, I couldn't even get out of bed. Then with Prozac, I got out of bed, but I was still too depressed to brush my teeth. Then with Abilify, I brushed my teeth, but just could not muster the will to rinse. Now with OneMority, I'm rinsing. So things are looking up, but someday I'd like to spit."

Jane's psychiatrist noted that drug makers are currently working on a new add-on, provisionally called YetAnotheril, that will "help patients like Jane feel like spitting, and even getting dressed. A few more years after that, I'm confident that we'll have another add-on that will help someone like Jane leave the house, and even drive to the store herself for her antidepressants and add-on add-on add-ons."

Patients interested in trying OneMority should ask their doctor about the possible side effects, which include nausea, headaches, upper respiratory infections, convulsions, hallucinations involving chickens or polyester, hot flashes, extra feet, "Frankenstein Syndrome," and nose bleeds.