Congress Votes to Ban 'Lunatic' in Legal Code in Favor of 'Batsh*t Crazy'

Exiting Jim DeMint admits he preferred "Loony Tunes."

photo credit: John Cummings

N A RARE show of unity, the U.S. House of Representatives has voted 398-1 to ban the word "lunatic" from any future legislative language and replace it with the favored expression "Batsh*t Crazy," reports the Capitol Hill newspaper Roll Call.

Although almost every congress member could agree with mental health organizations that "lunatic" was old-fashioned and derogatory, not everyone could agree on the term that should replace it.

"We always had that reliable go-to word when drafting legislation for crazy people," said Representative Eric Paulsen (R-Minnesota), "but we realized that 'lunatic' just wasn't in keeping with our modern understanding of people who talk to themselves without Bluetooth," he said.

The one holdout, Representative Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), remained angry about the final vote.

"Just because I'm banned from using 'lunatic' in my draft legislation, doesn't mean I won't continue to use it frequently in my personal correspondence, such as in birthday and Christmas cards, dammit," he said.

Although the U.S. Senate had already approved the measure back in May, exiting Senator Jim DeMint (R-S. Carolina) as a parting gesture recommended his personal choice of "Loony Tunes" as a compromise term.

"We all know what that means, without anyone getting all in a lather," said Senator DeMint. "It's kind of a cute way of saying 'lunatic' without actually saying 'lunatic,' now isn't it."